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Saturday, October 7th, 2006
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10:40 pm - sick
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| Thursday, February 16th, 2006
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12:27 am - Don't read this if you are related to me, or don't want to think of me in "that way"
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( Seriously. )
current mood:  satisfied
current music: LOA - Sex Bomb
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| Friday, February 10th, 2006
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3:57 am
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I'm in bed, probably too close to sleep to be typing. I just realized I missed a bunch of locked posts on my friends list because I wasnt signed in. and they were posts that really mattered, as much as lj posts can at any rate. But it makes me wonder if the way my life has turned out isn't because of things like that. Could I be the victim of a series of random yet unfortunate coincidences? Are we all? Or was Candide right, and this is in fact the best of all possible worlds?
Lily is watching me as I type this. Big puppy eyes, sleepily staring at me as if to say that its too late to be philosophical. I think shes right.
5 Times My Life Could Have Gone Either Way or 5TMLCHGEW, for short.
1. lets start from the beginning. I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck. If anything, its proof that I come by my self destructive tendencies honestly.
2. IQ tests say genius, the teachers shit their collectvie pants in glee. Before they could ship a 3rd grade me into high school classes, my mom vetoes the decision. She wants me to have a normal childhood. Thats the kind of laugh that doesn't reach your eyes, but maybe she made the right choice. You might get a different answer every time you ask me.
3. I wasn't about to lose my virginity to that fuck up.
4. I got acceptance letters from TWU and Agnes Scott before I even thought about applying to Lamar. Guess where I ended up.
5. I'm sleepy but still typing, dammit.
Okay, maybe the last one was a bit gimmicky. But still. This isn't even counting all the little choices, the small missteps, or times I let fear get the best of me. Oh man, I don't even want to think about the times fear won. Fuck.
current mood:  contemplative
current music: Steve Reich - Violin Phase
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| Sunday, February 5th, 2006
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12:14 am
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I'm typing this from the Log, on my swank new notebook. This happy moment is only slightly marred by some paunchy working type belting out"I am just a cowboy". Theres nothing Brokeback to it, I've just never understood the machismo of cowboys. They've always seemed pretty swishy to me. Bandanas. Thats all I'm saying.
current mood:  aggravated
current music: some band being slightly better than mediocre but killing it with cheesy cover choices
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| Monday, January 23rd, 2006
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11:23 pm - B to the I to the R to the - oh fuck it.
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Tomorrow will be my birthday. Yep, the big 2 - 3. I can't really say I'm looking foward to it, as things have been shit lately and I have nothing planned. Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and it will be all unicorns and rainbows. Or at least cold Coke and oral sex. Can't a girl dream?
current mood:  thoughtful
current music: Don Quixote is Not Dead - Babylon Circus
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| Wednesday, January 18th, 2006
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1:56 am - Life's Little Pleasures
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Welcome to another installment of my wildly popular bi-whenever feature, Life's Little Pleasures. Okay, I'm lying. This is the first one. What, am I chained to this thing? Anyway, here we go.
Fresh from the Dryer Underwear
Oh yes I used caps. Be you lad or lass, nothing says comfort like a warm crotch. Really, try it. Get a nice comfortable pair of panties. Pop them in the dryer. Wait a about 5 minutes, 10 if you are feeling frisky, and put them on as soon as decency allows. Actually, fuck decency. Decency is best left to those that are in no way interested in enjoying life. I don't care if you are in a crowded laundromat with the Pope, drop trou and enjoy. Seriously, its like angels smiling radiantly upon your naughty bits. If angels were the type to do that sort of thing... Or, you know, real. I'm looking at you, Pope.
Age Inappropriate Candy
Pixie Stix have not made the transition to adulthood with me, but fuck all if I'm going to leave them behind. I don't know the exact moment when certain candy becomes ridiculous, but if you have ever seen a crusty raver slobbing on a Ring Pop, you know there is one.
Really Bad Guys I'll Never Meet
You know whats so rocktastic about the current administration? I can fucking hate them, and not feel the least bit bad about it. I honestly don't think I could dislike them more if you told me they regularly dine on kitty fetuses and live bunnies. See, I don't know what really twisted shit happened to them to make them think they could be such assholes. Its way easier to hate a concept of someone than to actually hate some poor pathetic bastard that grew up brainwashed. In fact, there are actually people I know in life that I could probably hate guilt free if I didn't know what a sad life they have. As is, I just feel sorry for them.
So if things are looking dire (trolling livejournal? pretty fucking dire, I'd say) you should totally try this stuff. Particularly the panties thing. and send pics.
current mood:  informative
current music: Nappy Roots - Life's a Bitch
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| Friday, November 11th, 2005
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1:07 am
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I'm back home now, and I look foward to putting that whole mess behind me. Daily, mundane things have a way of seaming themselves together and sometimes you can almost think that things never happened. Pretend with me, okay? Lets save the re-hash for another day. I'll leave it at this; I'm glad to be home, and I am glad you are reading this. Two very awesome things. I hope that doesn't sound dismissive. It isn't how I mean it, I just think I will have to be in a different mood to pound the page on that subject, you know?
I watched All the King's Men today, an old black and white based on the book of the same title. It had me seeing corruption around every corner. I read the book in high school, but its really one of those books that demands a re-read. I'm not certain the Melissa of yesteryear appreciated it as much as I might now. I'm glad the movie stayed true to Sadie. She was such a badass.
current mood:  calm
current music: The White Stripes - As Ugly As I Seem
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| Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
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9:17 am
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Change of plans. Lakehouse it is. I'll post as soon as I can, but everything is a variable at this point. God forgive me, I can't find Optimus. We will have to leave without him, as much as it tears me up to do so. I haven't seen him since late afternoon yesterday. I can only hope that someone has taken him somewhere, he has his tag on, so here's hoping.
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| Wednesday, September 21st, 2005
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10:50 pm - I've never been so scared.
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This will probably be the last post I make until after Rita. I'm scared, and I don't know where I or the people I love most will end up. We might go to Mike's parents' house, which is at least north of I-10. Its a sturdy place, but I always worry about trees. I worry about everything. We may end up leaving for who knows where when all is said and done. My mom and the kids may stay here, at my house. They may not. Barbara (not Barbie but my apt. A neighbor) will be staying here, as well as a few others in the neighborhood. I wish them luck. I wish I had some good news. I wish this wasn't happening.
current mood:  terrified
current music: none.
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| Thursday, August 25th, 2005
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10:23 pm - big surprise
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Yeah, I'm all out of internets. I don't know when I'll be back. because I don't know whats wrong. Typical, I also know. You know the drill. Call if you need me, same time, same bat channel.
-M
current mood:  annoyed
current music: Michael being annoying
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| Friday, August 19th, 2005
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3:13 pm - Sophia has gone dry
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I like to think it was harvested from Blanche. She would have liked it.
current mood:  amused
current music: The Decemberists - Military Wives
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| Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
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11:50 pm - ever play telephone?
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We were watching some Law and Order: Molester Hands episode in which these high school girls killed their best friend, and were completely unrepentant. They were very cold, callous even, and Mike commented that the characters seemed two-dimensional because no one could really do that. Then he turned to me and asked, "Girls can't really be that evil to each other, can they?". I just laughed.
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| Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
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2:18 am - Electric Pantomime
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Its all white bread and vanilla here. Things with strings get more play than me.
current mood:  cynical
current music: Tom Lehrer - Smut
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| Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
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6:53 pm - There can be only one...
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( SUPER MEX! )
current mood: amused
current music: Vladimir Ashkenazy - Sonata No. 9 'Messe Noire'
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| Thursday, April 7th, 2005
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1:46 pm - Doom!
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It turns out there will be a hybrid eclipse the day Pope John Paul II is to be buried. That's bound to get the crazies going, I'm sure. Are we really so far away from banging pots to chase away the sun eating dragons? It certainly doesn't seem like it, between color coded ohshitometers and trumped up "experts" parading dead saints' prophecies around. Can we please have a world event happen without it meaning the Apocalyse is around the corner? Please?
current mood: aggravated
current music: White Stripes - Truth Doesn't Make a Noise
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| Friday, April 1st, 2005
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6:29 pm
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I'm back, bitches! 
current mood:  energetic
current music: killer queen
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| Thursday, March 31st, 2005
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6:33 pm
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Melissa does not currently have internet but will be back as soon as possible. Should you need to reach her, you can call her between 1 and 4 in the afternoon on Friday.
-C
current mood: infuripisterated
current music: Sound of Melissa's head against wall
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| Wednesday, February 9th, 2005
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12:19 am - It is doing what now?
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| Saturday, January 29th, 2005
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5:11 pm - If wishes were stars, you'd be a comet.
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Isn't that a fucking terrible title? What does it even mean?
This is purely for my benefit, but so few things are, so indulge me. Those of you that know me best will find this to be a fun little match up game.
Things I wish I had said to people the last time I saw them
I love you. When are you coming home?
Some guy called about your hotel room. No, I don't remember anything else. It was early and you are a dick for passing out my number like its herpes.
So, did you remember where you saw that guitar?
How many drinks does it take to get you naked? I'm not asking for me, I'm taking a poll. I swear.
So this is the last time I will see you in a really long time, possibly ever. Come on; tell me one more terribly tasteless joke for old times' sake.
Be lucky you got me when I was young and stupid, because a year from now I won't give guys like you the time of day. And shut up about the Beth thing, because you arranged it.
Take your cds, because they are just going to collect dust over here.
I will never forget you. When you feel that you have done nothing good in life, remember me and think before you act.
It takes more than a moment of regret to make up for all this. Oh, and watch out for boxes.
I think you are beautiful, and I can't read Alice in Wonderland without thinking of you.
I'm on my way.
Don't forget me. In many ways, you were stronger than I ever was. And God hates ravers. You don't want to piss off God, do you?
Your red hair, while nice, makes up for none of your faults. Coming from me, that should sting.
You are too cool to hang out with these guys. Seriously. Aragorn the kitten? Damn that’s dorky.
I may add to this later, because it’s cathartic.
current mood: thoughtful
current music: silence
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| Monday, January 24th, 2005
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1:21 pm - Only once a year
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Happy Birthday to me. Surely the following gives me livejournal street cred. 'I don't like Monday 24 January' Misery is expected to peak on Monday, as 24 January has been pinpointed as the worst day of the year. January has been long regarded as the darkest of months, but a formula from a part-time tutor at Cardiff University shows it gets even worse this Monday. Foul weather, debt, fading Christmas memories, failed resolutions and a lack of motivation conspire to depress, Cliff Arnalls found. GPs say exercise and reading up on depression are ways to beat the blues. "Yes, we do see lots of people with depression and anxiety in the winter months. "The message is it's not a terrible disorder, people do get better," Royal College of General Practictioners spokesman Dr Alan Cohen said.
| JANUARY BLUES DAY FORMULA 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA. Where: W: Weather D: Debt d: Money due in January pay T: Time since Christmas Q: Time since failed quit attempt M: General motivational levels NA: The need to take action | "Exercise and bibliotherapy - reading a number of books to allow people to understand their own symptoms and how to control them," were initial treatments, he said. The formula for the day of misery reads 1/8W+(D-d) 3/8xTQ MxNA. Where W is weather, D is debt - minus the money (d) due on January's pay day - and T is the time since Christmas. Q is the period since the failure to quit a bad habit, M stands for general motivational levels and NA is the need to take action and do something about it. Dr Arnalls calculated the effects of cold, wet and dark January weather after the cosiness of Christmas coupled with extra spending in the sales. He found 24 January was especially dangerous, coming a whole month after Christmas festivities. Any energy from the holiday had worn off by the third week of January, he said. By Monday, most people will have fallen off the wagon or abandoned the nicotine patches as they fail to keep New Year's resolutions. That compounds a sense of failure and knocks confidence needed to get through January. The fact that the most depressing day fell on a Monday was not planned but a coincidence, he said.
Link to original here
current mood:  meh
current music: Dresden Dolls - Blueprint
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ataindre's journal
